Today I am sharing with you the super awesome cover of Memoirs of a Neurotic Zombie by Jeff Norton! This is a book that I’ve heard the first chapter of and am DYING to read more of. I seriously cannot wait to get my hands on this book out in August!
‘My name is Adam Meltzer and the last thing I remember was being stung by a bee while swinging at a robot-shaped piñata on my twelfth birthday. I was dead before the candy hit the ground.’
Memoirs of a Neurotic Zombie is narrated by the hilarious Adam Meltzer – pre-teen, worrywart, and now zombie. Adam’s family gets the fright of their lives when he turns up at their door desperate for a shower . . . three months after his funeral.
When most people think zombies, they think of eating people, and unintelligent monsters. But Adam doesn’t like germs. Or dirt. Or things being disorganised. So waking up as a zombie was definitely not in his plans, and the idea of eating people is disgusting. Getting stung by a bee doesn’t normally lead to becoming a zombie, and it seems incredibly unfair that it’s happened to Adam.
Soon Adam’s back at school trying to fit in and not draw extra attention to himself, but when he sees his neighbour Ernesto transform into a chupacubra, and the beautiful Corina (Adam’s number one mega-crush) turns out to be a (vegan) vampire, undead life is never going to be the same again.
A hilarious adventure caper – if Ferris Bueller met Shaun of the Dead – all about friendship and being yourself . . . even if you’re undead.
Adam prepares for returning to school as a zombie, with an unexpected family argument
I woke up early on Monday and raided Amanda’s make-up stash while she was showering. I liberally applied foundation and colour, which I’ve seen her do a thousand times, and did my best to get that ‘While I may looked like a walking skeleton, I’m actually alive’ look the beauty industry pushes.
‘What do you think?’ I asked the family at breakfast.
‘You look like a ventriloquist’s doll,’ said Amanda.
‘I’m really sorry, Adam,’ said Mum. ‘I didn’t realise you were into SMOOCH, otherwise I would have bought you a ticket for Field of Screams.’
SMOOCH is this heavy-metal rock band where four British guys wear crazy make-up, dress up in outlandish costumes, and scream so loudly that peoples’ ears are known to bleed. My parents grew up listening to them, and for some reason Amanda loves them too. I, however, was convinced they should be institutionalised…or deported.
‘Field of Screams if on Friday and everyone’s going,’ taunted Amanda. ‘’Cept you, cos it’s sold out. You snooze, you lose.’
‘I wasn’t exactly snoozing.’
There are lots of different extracts out there in the web today, hope you enjoy them all!
Are you as excited about this book as I am?