Don’t Judge Me On My Size!

Hi Guys!
Today I’m here to talk to you about a rather personal and sensitive topic that has been shadowing me for many, many years. I think it is time to share my thoughts. Today I want to talk to you all about what may just be my own paranoid thoughts but how I believe that people take one look at me and my size and instantly judge my lifestyle and how I live.

And the first thing I want to let you all know, because it bugs me to no end is this;

Fat and Fit are not mutually connected

It is quite possible to be fat and fit or thin and unfit. Just because you are one, does not mean that you are automatically the other. And the reason I know this is because I am fat and fit, and have been for most of my life.

But when people see me, I am certain that they believe I;
a) need more exercise
b) should eat less
c) eat more of the “right” food

And I’m a little bit fed up of how damaging these thoughts and comments can be, especially when I already feel like I am trying my hardest to “look better”.

My Story


This is me. This is what I look like. It is more or less, how I have always looked – with a little bit of extra padding. Yes, I have had moments in my life where I’ve been slimmer and moments in my life when I’ve been bigger but for the most part, this is a good average representation of how I have always looked. I have not, and doubt I will ever be, incredibly skinny. The best I have to hope for is to fit into a size 12. But that is totally okay. Because even at the size I am now, I know that I am fit and active and that makes me incredibly happy with myself.

I have always been active

Ever since I was a young girl, I liked to run around. From what I’m told, I would run around the playground, ride my bike, going for long walks and get involved with sports. I didn’t care that I wasn’t any good or very fast because I enjoyed it. And I still do. I have this slight problem wherein I can find it very difficult to sit still for long periods of time. (Anyone who has sat next to me in the cinema will know this for certain and often hates me for all my fidgeting!)

What this essentially means is that I rather enjoy being physically active and find it hard to not do some sort of exercise from time to time. In fact, I know there is a link to my moods and how often I exercise. Whenever I get too low, I try and force myself to go and be active for a little while.

So, when I was in primary school, I was always running around at breaktime, playing hopscotch, doing handstands over and over, playing football and even participating in gymnastics. At secondary school I walked thirty (eventually twenty when I kept waking up late) to school every morning, loved PE and was on the school rounders and netball team. I went to Guides where at camp we did Kayaking, Rockclimbing, Absailing, Hiking, and various other activities that I enjoyed. At fourteen I got a paper-round where every morning I would cycle for thirty minutes with heavy bags of papers. Then when I went to college I would walk fourty-five minutes to the train station and then walk up the largest hill for another twenty minutes (and back again in the evening). I would play badminton in the evenings, went swimming every Friday afternoon and I also joined a ten pin bowling club on Saturday mornings. (You may not think ten pin bowling is a lot of effort but it is when you do it for three hours without stopping and you’re the only one in your lane).

Then I went to Canada for six months and went skiing twice a week, every week. It was during this part of my life that I lost the most weight I ever have. The problem being that I did so because I got the flu. On my return, I went to university and one of the first things I did was sign up to the Waterpolo team. This was also the year that I first started running for charity so I started training to run my first 5K. I did another 5K run a year later and stayed with the Waterpolo team which included vigorous training three times a week. Admittedly in my third year of university I stopped doing Waterpolo training but I did keep my running up and still went swimming regularly. While finishing university has been tough as I haven’t found another team to join, I do have an active job which involves going up and down four flights of stairs, shelving books, carrying heavy items and generally almost always being on the go. And now I’m running and swimming again too.

Looking at all of that, would you believe that I’m a size 18-22 dress size?

But what about food?

Obviously, you are thinking, well, if she’s THAT active then she must be eating very badly. I will admit that I have moments in time when I do eat badly. I know growing up we did eat a fair amount of junk food because it was a lot cheaper to feed six kids at McDonalds than at a posh restaurant (cheaper and easier), but as I’ve gotten older, my diet has changed dramatically. I now cook all of my own foods, although, I am only just starting to cook everything from scratch after finding out about all the hidden sugars in ready-made sauces like Dolmio. But I still occasionally like to have cake, and ice cream and chocolate. I don’t think this should ever be denied to me just because I’m a little chunky round the middle. And I honestly want to stop feeling guilty every time I eat these comfort foods.

Food is probably the reason I’ve never fully lost weight and is probably the reason I will never go past being a size 12 but food will never be the reason that I am not a fit individual. I am learning a lot of new things about food lately and sharing my new recipes on this very blog, recipes that are low in sugar, carbs and fat. I’ve learnt that some fats are good for you (the right fats) and sugar is only bad if you don’t use the energy it provides. And I’m finding everything I am learning fascinating and definitely noticing changes in my body and my cravings, but even with all these changes, I still allow myself the cake, ice cream and chocolate on occasion without feeling guilty or judged because I know that I am fit and well on my way to being healthy too.

Think Before You Speak

My story is one of being fat and fit without knowing a true underlying cause for it, aside from potentially the years of eating slightly badly, but there are many others out there who are fat and fit because of medical issues. There are many illnesses out there that cause people to gain weight, those who may be on steroids, people who have bodies that refuse to ingest nutrients correctly, people with other underlying causes. So the next time you see someone with a few extra pounds, don’t instantly judge them for it.

But it’s also a two-way street. Just because someone is thin, does not mean that they are necessarily fit. There are many reasons why they may be thin such as illnesses that make it difficult to absorb food correctly, high metabolisms and hidden dangers. They also could just be naturally thin, unfit and completely healthy. But just as I don’t want people telling me I need to lose weight, it’s not fair to tell skinny people that a) they should put on weight or b) they don’t need to diet/get fit because they look great. Everyone has their own personal reasons for what they do and just because you may not think they look fat, does not mean they don’t feel that way and want to do something about it. It may be difficult to understand, and this is something I personally struggle with and am trying to work on, but it is their body not yours. I would never tell anyone not to diet or gain fitness or vice versa, but I will admit to feeling jealous sometimes but I am only human, afterall.

Personally, I think everyone should just stop telling other people what to do but most importantly can we please stop judging people on their size? If you don’t know, don’t judge/speak.

Everyone is beautiful, unique, and will live how ever they want whether you open your mouth to intrude or not.

I’m really hoping this doesn’t sound like I’m moaning about my weight and how there are people skinnier than me who are less active than me because I’m really not. I’m just fed up of society placing me in a stereotypical pigeon hole and always looking at me incredulously when I tell them that I’m an active person. (I swear my doctor thought I was lying to her and that is so not okay).

I don’t want to live in a world where, when I tell people I ran 10K without stopping, they think, “I’ll believe that when I see it.”. And maybe they aren’t thinking this, maybe this is just my paranoid brain but it feels like they do because that is how society has trained my brain with their constant diet advertisements and television programs like “You are What you Eat.”

But enough about my ramblings.

What do you think?



  • Piper

    I am the same, I’ve struggled with my weight in the past, feeling insecure compared with friends. Even though I have an active job and out of work I’m always walking or going to Zumba once a week or swimming is just not enough to shake the weight. I have grown to love my curves :)

    Thank you for posting this.

    “Everyone is beautiful, unique.”

  • Dad

    The Fat controller says been there, seen it, heard it, done it, still there, and guilty of giving up trying at the moment, and probably of giving you some of my genes.

    Hey I wish I could get a little of your active drive, but the sofa is so comfy lol.

    Ps the saying never judge a book by its cover

    Love Dad x

  • Karin @ My Life...

    I admire you for this post Faye! I am also chubby and I can’t remember a time I wasn’t but I find it horrible that people think they are allowed to give me tips on how I should live my life. I also think it’s unacceptable that your doctor didn’t trust you when you told her that you’re an active person – what a …

    I am a firm believer in everybody should live their life and as long as you are happy, everything is okay! I get it that people want to help you change your life when you start complaining to them but without being asked – no, just no!

    For me, your post did not feel like you are complaining about your body but more like you want to make people aware that body images are different and being healthy does not necessarily mean being thin!

    Hurray to that and don’t let these (stupid) people get you down!!!!!!

  • Fern

    I really applaud you for admitting your weakness and your thoughts on your weight. I had four children. Then I got sick. I had gained a ton of weight. But everyone looked at me and thought I was just lazy. It hurt and I had a hard time. Thank you for sharing. I am now getting healthy and the weight is starting to come off but I have type two diabetes because of it.

  • Ashley

    You’re very brave for posting this! Go you!

    I have to admit, I used to be a lot more ignorant than I am now about fitness vs eating. I assumed it was fitness that made you skinny, so I was surprised when I saw a larger girl run a marathon with my sister.

    But now I know a lot better. Losing weight is like 90% about how much you eat (not WHAT you eat – just calorie intake) and only 10% fitness.

    At the end of the day, it’s all about calories in vs calories out.

    People assume they have to go hit the gym hard to lose weight, but you don’t. And often it won’t help if you don’t also keep what you eat in check. The gym often makes people hungry so then they eat more, then they wonder why they don’t lose weight.

    The gym is for getting fit.
    The kitchen is for losing weight.

    If you are actually interested in that then I’d suggest getting a food scale so you can weigh everything and sign up for My Fitness Pal to log it all. Even if just for a while. It can be very enlightening because most people massively underestimate how many calories they consume.

    Google “TDEE calculator” to help you figure out how many calories you burn per day. Then, in order to lose weight, you want to eat about 500 LESS than that each day.

    I’m not pushing you or anything – just trying to offer some advice if YOU WANT to go that route. :) I’ve been doing a lot of research about this for myself and have learned a lot.

    I’ve been losing weight myself lately and I tend to be very good 5-6 days out of the week. I’m not sure I’d survive if I didn’t let myself have whatever I want now and then. Oreos and hot chocolate are my biggest weaknesses! But being able to let loose now and then keeps me motivated the rest of the week. I just try to have cheat MEALS rather than entire cheat DAYS because they’re easier for me to manage!

  • Rosy @ The Review Diaries

    This is such an important post and I applaud you for writing and posting it. Society conditions us that people with more weight are unattractive/not trying/unhealthy, which is TERRIBLE. I think it’s really important that you’ve highlighted it and talked about it here, so thank you for having the courage to do that – most people wouldn’t.
    It does also go the other way, as you’ve mentioned, although I don’t think it is ever as bad for skinnier people. When I was growing up I had real difficulty trying to get any sort of weight to stick and I’d get people telling me to put on weight, that I looked ugly and referring to me as a stick insect. Even doctors telling me that I was lying when I said that I was eating. So I think it’s important that regardless of the persons size, they should not be judged. No one knows the circumstances or lifestyle or eating habits of other people.
    Thank you for writing this, it’s a really important topic – we all need to learn not to judge.

  • Anca

    You said: “But when people see me, I am certain that they believe I;
    a) need more exercise
    b) should eat less
    c) eat more of the “right” food”
    Why do you put yourself in this situation, you don’t know what the others are thinking. Also, you believe that they have negative thoughts towards you, so you kind of judge them too.

    People will say or think a lot of things. I was fat and I was feeling bad, I was taking painkillers, now I’m much thinner and I feel great (due to my 6-7 workouts a week and eating as healthy as I can). I heard stupid things when I was fat, I heard stupid things when I was thin… it doesn’t make much difference. Some would comment on the length of my hair or how high are my heels.
    If you have as a goal to be happy with how you are, others will matter less and less. If you don’t like something and it can be changed, do it and if is not possible, accept it.

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