Behind the Blog

Behind the Blog #41; It’s All in the Gesture


Behind the Blog is a meme to help bloggers connect their life and interests to the content showcased on their blog. The co-hosts, Faye, Kathe, and Melissa will provide a different topic, idea, or question every week that bloggers can relate to themselves and the books, films, or other media they find interesting!

With it being Valentine’s Day this week, we wanted to ask about gestures of love. Do you appreciate grand gestures, ie, being lavished with gifts, and chocolates, romantic getaways etc. Or do you appreciate the smaller things, like your bf/gf doing something for you without being asked, a homecooked meal, etc. If you’d like, you can share what you did/will do to celebrate Valentine’s Day.
In relation to books and media: What are some gestures of love, grand or small that have stuck out to you in books or movies?

This is actually an interesting topic for me because it meant I had to really think about it. For years I have always been adament that I didn’t like grand gestures – and don’t even get me started on valentine’s day – but over the last few years something in me has changed. I have a problem with public displays of affection, so any gestures done publicly I will probably always feel uncomfortable about. Proposing in a restaurant may seem romantic to some people but for me it is probably something that would cause me to have an anxiety attack. So while many would appreciate the gesture, I know for a fact, I would struggle to truly appreciate it.

On the other hand, after speaking to my friend about this, I decided that I would love gestures that showed a person knew me well, or just really was thinking about me and caring about me. For example, knowing that I love books and was really looking forward to a particular one and buying me it, or a necklace in the theme of a favourite book, something that showed that they were really paying attention would be hard to ignore and not appreciate. And if they knew me that well, chances are they’d also make sure to give it to me in a private space.

So I guess, in a way, I would definitely enjoy smaller gestures to grand ones. It’s part of the reason I hate valentine’s so much (and no, it isn’t because I’ve never had a date on valentine’s day), but because everyone expects so much to be done for them because everyone else is celebrating their loved ones. In the scheme of grand things, valentine’s day is definitely high on that list so I know for certain that I would struggle to like anything given to me on any valentine’s day – especially if they went and forgot to buy something for a more important date; an anniversary. I appreciate the idea behind Valentine’s, of having a day to simply enjoy your loved ones and to thank them for all they do but I just don’t like it. To me, it’s become a hallmark holiday, not worth many people’s time.

But if I was to come home the day after valentine’s day, or the day before, to find my other half had done something nice for me? I would be incredibly happy. Because we were being sheepdogs and not simple sheep. In that small gesture, no matter what it was, it would show that the person I was with knew me well by simply knowing how much I really don’t like valentine’s day. It seems silly, and it sounds even worse than it does in my head. But for me, I think gestures are good simply in their spontaneity. If you know they’re coming, if you expect them, then the surprise and overwhelming happiness that comes with them surely goes away, right?

What do you think about small and grand gestures?


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  • Ashna

    Aww I love this! I feel quite a lot like you. Grand gestures in public = NO. Little things? Yes!! And yes, the things that show they were “paying attention” seem best! I think I’m going to go write a BTB post, been quite a long time! :)

  • Alexa Y.

    I’m right there with you on the small gestures! I think big public displays would probably get me too self-conscious and uncomfortable, so little things definitely speak louder to me. I love it when someone does something thoughtful for me, and something that shows they really know and care about who I am!

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